Gone are the mundane days of campaign buttons, lawn signs and bumper stickers; enter an anything-is-sellable campaign merchandising world boosted by DIY Etsy mavens and huge campaign budgets.
All the world really needs from Hillary Clinton’s campaign store is the “Everyday Panstsuit Tee,” but the overeager merchandisers behind Shop.HillaryClinton.com went above and beyond with an H-engraved spatula and a “Chillary Clinton Koozie.”
Ted Cruz’s campaign store stays strictly within the realm of baseball caps, polos and coffee mugs, minus one near-psychedelic poster of the candidate pinching his fingers in front of a raised fist.
You can show your Rand Paul support with a “Hindsight Eyechart” in which “Liberty not Hillary in the 2016 elections hindsight is 20/20” is written like the letters you would see on an eye chart exam. Or if you think the eye chart might be trying too hard, you can buy either an autographed Constitution priced at $1,000 or just a plain old Rand on a stick.
One might think Marco Rubio’s campaign store thoroughly uninspired if you didn’t catch his “Marco Polo” special.
Have you gotten an official Marco Polo yet?
Unlike other candidates’ stores, Bernie Sanders’ store lacks anything priced above $50 and anything beyond a small selection of mugs, t-shirts, signs and stickers. We’re holding out hope that Sanders’ call for people to submit their own “Bernie” designs will bring out something more creative like what there is on Etsy (“Weekend at Bernie” bracelets, “Bern Baby, Bern” prints and a Lego-fied Sanders campaign magnet).
From an Etsy search of “Carly Fiorina”
We were unable to find Carly Fiorina’s official campaign store, but if you type in “Carly Fiorina” into Etsy, a Fiorina-emblazoned iPhone case, T-shirt and button come up along with a “Hillary Schmillary” bumper sticker.
From an Etsy search of “Ben Carson”
Ben Carson’s merchandising campaign is seemingly nonexistent at this point. An Etsy search returns a few just a few items including a questionably designed print of an inspirational Carson quote.
The only options Huckabee supporters have is how they want to display “I Like Mike” or #IMWITH HUCK: on a bumpersticker, on a wall decal, on a campaign button or on a yard sign.
Rick.Santorum.com/store currently returns an error message but a quick Esty search of “Rick Santorum” brings up a number of sweater vests, which Santorum first popularized in 2012.
Rick Perry’s official store only has a variety of t-shirts with his baseball team-esque logo. If that doesn’t have you pulling for your wallet, there are also t-shirts making light of Rick Perry’s indictment for sale on his super PAC’s website.
No one product stands out at JebBushStore.com, but you can bet your 2016 vote that the capitalized letters “J-E-B” will be visible from afar on every single thing for sale.
No official campaign stores or Etsy merchandise were found for George Pataki, Lincoln Chafee, Lindsey Graham, Jim Webb, Bobby Jindal or Martin O’Malley.
The only merchandise that could be found for Chris Christie and Donald Trump on Etsy was largely outdated.
Check out MyStatesman for more info on the 2016 candidates.