Rihanna may be a ‘bad’ girl, but she’s not Matt Barnes’ girl

Matt Barnes is gonna need some ice for the sick burn singer Rihanna delivered on Instagram.

FILE - In a Saturday, Jan. 25, 2014 file photo, Rihanna arrives at the Roc Nation 2014 Pre-Grammy Brunch Celebration, in Los Angeles. Madonna, Rihanna and Sam Smith will perform at the second annual iHeartRadio Music Awards on March 29, 2015, at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, iHeartMedia announced Monday, March 9, 2015. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
Rihanna arrives at the Roc Nation 2014 Pre-Grammy Brunch Celebration, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

The Memphis Grizzlies player was the subject of a recent TMZ Sports video, in which he’s seen speaking to a reporter and implying that he and Rihanna are friends that are “past the crush stage” and he’s waiting to see where things go.

As fun as it would’ve been to imagine two celebrities with great affinities for tattoos dating, Barnes committed the ultimate foul: He totally made their relationship up.

He put on quite a show, but Rihanna let the world know the two are more like complete strangers, rather than friends with romantic possibilities.

Lesson learned fellas, don’t try and talk a big game or else you’ll get shut down.

Lefties share their struggle using #GrowingUpLeftHanded hashtag

UntitledIt’s not easy being left-handed in a right-handed world. According to lefthandersday.com, lefties are a minority group – only about 13% of the world’s population is left-handed.

Thursday is National Left Handers Day and lefties on Twitter are celebrating by using the hashtag #GrowingUpLeftHanded to share their collective struggle.

https://twitter.com/pjcin303/status/631838318171283461

Right-handed people will just never understand.

To see which celebrities can relate to the aforementioned struggles, click through our gallery of famous lefties.

Watch: Reba McEntire and Jimmy Fallon ‘close-serenade’ fan

In this Sunday, April 19, 2015, file photo, Reba McEntire performs at the 50th annual Academy of Country Music Awards at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. McEntire will make a return to CMT Awards stage after a 10-year absence, performing at the awards show on Wednesday, June 10. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP, File)
In this Sunday, April 19, 2015, file photo, Reba McEntire performs at the 50th annual Academy of Country Music Awards at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP, File)

One lucky Reba fan had his dreams come true last night on the “The Tonight Show.”

What was his dream?

It was to get — arguably too —  up, close and personal with the country singer and actress while McEntire serenaded him along with host Jimmy Fallon. Watch just how close they get below:

Last week, McEntire fans were shocked to learn that the Grammy-winning star was separating from her husband of 26 years. Her appearance on the “The Tonight Show” was part of her promotion of her new single, “Until They Don’t Love You,” off her album “Love Somebody,” released earlier this year.

How “True Detective” season two is like one of the most divisive comic books of all time

So now that the second season of HBO’s “True Detective” is dead and gone as Frank in the desert, I submit True Detective season two was the TV version of a 2001 comic book series called “The Dark Knight Strikes Again.”

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Gaze into the fist of Batman!

Let me explain.

An iconic page from "The Dark Knight Returns" (written by Frank Miller; art by Miller, Klaus Janson and Lynn Varley)
An iconic page from “The Dark Knight Returns” (written by Frank Miller; art by Miller, Klaus Janson and Lynn Varley)

Even people who don’t know much about comics know Frank Miller’s 1986 series “The Dark Knight Returns,” wherein a middle-aged Bruce Wayne comes out of a ten-year retirement to fight crime in Gotham City.

Though Miller was famous for his ground-breaking run on “Daredevil,” readers of mainstream comic books had ever seen anything quite like “The Dark Knight.”

Dynamic, violent, cynical science fiction written by a noir -fanatic reaching the height of his powers, “Dark Knight” was a game-changer, one of the most influential American comics of the late 20th century and one of the books that kicks off the grim and gritty era of superhero comics.

Even if you found its mugged-liberal politics a little eye-rolling, everyflick from the first Batman movie to the most recent — not to mention literally thousands of superhero comics — have drawn from “The Dark Knight.”

When it shipped in the spring and summer of ‘86, I was at the golden age for comic books, which is 11 going on 12 years old; let me tell you, it blew my tiny mind.

Now, “The Dark Knight Returns” took itself seriously. Sure, there were levels of satire and parody

Still chilling (from "The Dark Knight Returns")
Still chilling (from “The Dark Knight Returns”)

in there (everything about the media, Reagan still in office decades later) but the tone was never winking. Grim moments felt grim: When the Joker, one eye missing, twists to breaks his own back and frame Batman for the crime, our hero’s narration reads “Whatever’s in him rustles as it leaves,”  it is chilling.

The first season of “True Detective” had a similar feel in terms of how it handled tone, how the narrative maintained its coal-black feel.  Part noir, part horror, Matthew McConaughey’s existential nihilist balanced out by Woody  Harrelson’s regular- cop skeptic, set in a moral free-fire zone on the Texas-Louisiana border, “True Detective” was cannily written, elegantly paced (until the rushed ending, that is) and didn’t really look or feel like anything else on television. Much like “The Dark Knight Returns,” there is a reason most critics really liked that first season: It was an old format in new, intriguing garb.

Back to Batman. Fifteen years after “The Dark Knight Returns” kicked off an era, Miller returned to the same universe in “The Dark Knight Strikes Again.”

This time, much like the second season of “True Detective,” everything is very, very different.

Dude is chill (from "The Dark Knight Strikes Again")
Dude is chill (from “The Dark Knight Strikes Again”)

Instead of an ornately drawn, noirish feel, the “Dark Knight Strikes Again” seemed to gleefully celebrate a “I knocked this out over lunch” look and feel. What was once sincere is now zany. Instead of subtle coloring and detailed backgrounds, large splashes of bright digital color highlight the figures. Instead of a street-level, noirish narrative, chatter seemed reduced to a phrase or two. The volume is turned up everywhere, and it reads as a parody of everything that was powerful about “The Dark Knight,” seeming to mock the reader for buying into the first volume.

“True Detective” season two seemed to do much the same thing, running full speed into cliché after cliché.

In this image released by HBO, Colin Farrell portrays Detective Ray Velcoro in the second season of the HBO original series "True Detective." (Lacey Terrell/HBO via AP)
In this image released by HBO, Colin Farrell portrays Detective Ray Velcoro in the second season of the HBO original series “True Detective.” (Lacey Terrell/HBO via AP)

Instead of exotic Louisiana, it’s set in Los Angeles, a place we’ve seen over and over in crime fiction.Instead of existential horror, “TD2”  was about a land deal thing tied to a dead body linked to some sex parties right out of the noir school of overcomplicated plots that are impossible to follow and somehow very boring, a cliché in their own right (All complicated noir plots owe “The Big Sleep”).

And then there were the flat characters: the cop with the drinking problem who was in the mob’s pocket. The woman with a chip on her shoulder who we find out was sexually abused, involving a van and everything. There was the mobster trying to go straight who gets pulled back into the life. And, whenever they weren’t giving each other meaningful glances that meant nothing, everyone spoke in uber-serious noir speak, a mix of terrible David Milch and worse Michael Mann.

There’s this this apotheosis of faux-Milch: “God forgive me for misreading what subtle clues you embed for me in your limp (organ), which is as wishy-washy as your (expletive) mood,” says Frank’s wife Jordan

Cavity? This guy? No way. (image courtesy of HBO)
Cavity? This guy? No way. (image courtesy of HBO)

Or this classic from Frank: ““I never lost a tooth. I’ve never even had a (expletive) cavity.”

(Was Frank Miller’s noir-chatter ever this bad? Maybe in some of the lesser “Sin City” volumes. Still: at least he had his killer art to fall back on. Vaughn looks like he would rather be anywhere else.)

From the giant moon that hung in the air after world’s least sexy orgy to the treacly score to the hallucinations Frank saw dying in the desert, again and again, “True Detective” blew up everything that was interesting about the first season in favor of something that worked, at is top dollar best, as noir-camp, unintentionally semi-amusing without ever crossing over into the are-you-kidding-me-with-this ? fun of, say, “Showgirls.”

Much like the first wave of response to “True Detective” season two, most critics and fans seemed faintly horrified, even vaguely offended, by “The Dark Knight Strikes Again” (or DK2). The combination of a bonkers plot (Batman liberating captured superheroes!, Superman’s daughter is kind of a handful! Dick Grayson is insane and immortal!) and the hyper-lunatic art felt like a bridge way too far, almost like trolling the reader.

A page from "The Dark Knight Strikes Again"
A page from “The Dark Knight Strikes Again”

Now, “DK2” did have its defenders. Cartoonist Tony Millionaire blurbed the “DK2” collection, celebrating its rawness, writing, “Miller has done for comics what the Ramones et al have done for music.” He continues, “This book looks like it was done by a guy with a pen and his girlfriend on an iMac,”, which is a look Miller sought for the series.

The terrific critic Sean T. Collins has similarly praised it in punk terms, saying it will someday be regarded as a foundational document in the way the first Stooges album was in 1977.

Admittedly, they had a point. While, looking back on this 2001 release from 2015, I don’t think “DK2” has had the impact that the first Dark Knight had, I have grown to enjoy some of its hyper-ironic, gonzo lunacy. It does seem fast, cheap and out of control, but that doesn’t make it fun in the same way that the first DK was.

And, as much as contemporary television and movies as tried to convince us otherwise, a TV show is not a comic book. Much in the same way DK2 was Miller reacting to all of the ways that the first Dark Knight had made everything grim and gritty, at its lowest moments, True Detective season two felt like creator Nic  Pizzolatto trolling the audience, mocking its desire for detective fiction that strayed from the norm. Instead, the second season seemed to say, here are all the clichés you thought you were getting away from, cranked up really high.

Look, maybe Frank and Ani and Ray and their baffling adventure in Vinci will seem brilliantly camp 10 years from now. Either way, it’s long past time to watch something that’s not making fun of me for being interested.

Looking for reviews of the ‘True Detective’ season two finale? Case closed

Well, that was definitely an episode of a television program, huh?

The second season of HBO’s “True Detective” has puzzled, frustrated and disappointed fans and critics alike, and the consensus seems to be that the show hasn’t lived up to the first season’s promise. (A lack of McConaughey will do that.)

In this image released by HBO, Colin Farrell portrays Detective Ray Velcoro in the second season of the HBO original series "True Detective." (Lacey Terrell/HBO via AP)
In this image released by HBO, Colin Farrell portrays Detective Ray Velcoro in the second season of the HBO original series “True Detective.” (Lacey Terrell/HBO via AP)

Want to know what was up with the crow mask? Want to know if Colin Farrell and Rachel McAdams solved the show’s big whodunnit? Want to know if everything ended as bleakly as you had hoped? Read some of the web’s best recaps and reviews of the season finale, “Omega Station.” SPOILERS, y’all.

  • A.V. Club: “Loss, redemption, retribution, atonement, just desserts: These ideas are the heart of the episode.”
  • Daily Beast: “… Nic Pizzolatto’s heavy-handed exploration of mayhem and masculinity was doomed from the start—both by the lofty expectations established in the wake of its tremendous first season, and the ensuing backlash spearheaded by The New Yorker’s Emily Nussbaum, who’d branded the first go-around shallow and anti-feminist. But more on that later.”
  • Grantland: “It was essentially about four people who were swallowed up by the world. They were neglected, abandoned, or abused children; kids whose only crime was being born.”
  • The Guardian: “And so, in the end, like Frank Semyon in the desert, or Ray Velcoro in the forest, True Detective season two departed on its own terms, unapologetically.”
  • io9: “We finally learn who killed Caspere … but the reveal is so anticlimactic amid the limp to the end, it only emphasizes how insanely overlong 90 minutes can feel.”
  • L.A. Times: “Maybe the unpunished will meet their rightful fates after all.”
  • New York Times: “The second season of “True Detective” ended on Sunday with its strongest episode, by a pretty fair margin, as the sprawling murder mystery and much of the tangential chicanery was wrapped up in reasonably satisfying, if not all that surprising, fashion.”
  • Rolling Stone: “‘Omega Station,’ the eighth and final installment of TD 2.0, could not have more effectively shut down the show’s progress if it dressed up like a cholo, drove it out to the desert, stabbed it, and left if for dead.”
  • Uproxx: “As it turns out, ‘beyond ridiculous’ is a fairly good way to describe the True Detective finale, ‘Omega Station.'”
  • Vanity Fair: “… why did the show’s strongest player and truest detective spend most of her time in the finale on the bench?”
  • Vox: “After seeing all eight and a half hours of True Detective, season two, I think it’s fair to peg the entirety of the story somewhere between ‘massively disappointing’ and ‘unmitigated disaster.'”
  • Vulture: “Tonally, the finale felt like an ’80s action film — a shootout at a train station, a shootout in the woods, telling your woman you’ll see her very soon (dying soon after that), and those women living under aliases in Venezuela.”
  • Washington Post: “Perhaps the most touching, even genuinely moving, part of the finale of this second season of ‘True Detective’ was the long opening sequence, when Ani and Ray confessed their secrets to each other after they’d sought solace in sex.”
  • Wired: “But after this year’s slog, the revelation of a movie-length finale landed with a thud—if anything, most people would have preferred a merciful 30-minute finale over any more of this.”

Austin-based temporary tattoos company launches line with Beyoncé

How often is “Beyoncé” in the same sentence as “Austin, Texas?”

Beyonce performs at "Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life - An All-Star Grammy Salute," at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2015, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Beyonce performs at “Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life – An All-Star Grammy Salute,” at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2015, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)

Hardly enough, which is why I’m happy to write the following sentence: Queen Bey has partnered with an Austin company for a new fashion accessory line.

Austin’s Flash Tattoos announced the news of their new Bey-inspired line of temporary tattoos last week.

The Houston-born singer, who ranks as highly on our future-Austin-City-Limits-headliner wishlist as hologram Selena, is a longtime fan of the Austin company.

“She kept wearing them and we kept sending her more,” Flash Tattoos founder Miranda Burnet told CR Fashion Book, who initially broke the news of the collaboration.

According to the CR Fashion Book story on how Beyoncé found Burnet‘s company, the jewelry-inspired temporary tattoos Flash Tattoos is known for first became fashion festie-famous at Coachella 2014. (And of course, they also made a splash at Austin’s version of Coachella. See picture below.)

One of the biggest fashion hits of the festival are these @flashtattoos from Austinite Miranda Burnet, seen here applying one of her shiny jewelry-inspired temporary tattoos. #360festies #acl2014 #360acl. Photo by Addie Broyles
One of the biggest fashion hits of the festival are these @flashtattoos from Austinite Miranda Burnet, seen here applying one of her shiny jewelry-inspired temporary tattoos. #360festies #acl2014 #360acl. Photo by Addie Broyles

The new line, co-designed by Queen Bey herself, is called “Beyoncé X” and features a variety of black and metallic gold honeycomb designs that nod to her Beyhive.

For those who want to, as CR Fashion Book puts it, “metaphorically belt out Bey’s lyrics in a distinctively new way,” there are also tattoos based on her powerful lyrics, everything from “crazy in love” to “put a ring on it.”

The $28, five-sheet set is available now at flashtat.com.

Check out Flash Tattoos’ website for more on how the temporary tattoos work, how long they last and for what occasion to wear them.

And here is to hoping that the Queen’s new Austin connection will mean she will soon grace our city with her presence.

 

Miley Cyrus questions Taylor Swift’s “role model” status, has beef with music industry

Miley Cyrus makes a surprise appearance with Mike Will Made It at the Fader Fort Converse stage during SXSW in Austin on Thursday, March 19, 2015. Lukas Keapproth/AMERICAN-STATESMAN
Miley Cyrus makes a surprise appearance with Mike Will Made It at the Fader Fort Converse stage during SXSW in Austin on Thursday, March 19, 2015. Lukas Keapproth/AMERICAN-STATESMAN

Despite featuring a squad almost 20-strong, racking up over 400 million views and being nominated for nine Video Music Awards (VMAs), there is one person that Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” music video has failed to impress.

That one person would be host of the upcoming VMA’s, former Disney star Miley Cyrus.

In a recent interview for the September issue of Marie Claire, Cyrus stated her thoughts on the video, saying, “I don’t get the violence revenge thing. That’s supposed to be a good example? And I’m a bad role model because I’m running around with my t**ties out? I’m not sure how t**ties are worse than guns.”

Cyrus also had a beef with the music industry itself, saying, “Kendrick Lamar sings about LSD and he’s cool. I do it and I’m a druggie whore.”

Neither Lamar nor Swift have made a comment on Cyrus’ interview.

Cyrus isn’t the only artist who might need to worry about an awkward run-in with Swift at the VMAs on Aug. 30 – Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry had a public Twitter spat with Swift last month, following the announcement of the 2015 VMA nominees.

Whataburger to celebrate 65 years of hamburgers

Whataburger, 1961. Courtesy photo.
Whataburger, 1961. Courtesy photo.

It might be hard to imagine, but there was once a time when hamburgers only came in bite-sized slider form. Luckily, Harmon Dobson changed all that in 1950 when he decided to bring his vision to life. That vision was of a burger one would need two hands to eat.

That was the beginning of Whataburger, according to the San Antonio Express-News. The Texas-based fast food chain is fixing to celebrate 65 years of burger flipping.

Harmon Dobson at Whataburger. Courtesy photo.
Harmon Dobson at Whataburger. Courtesy photo.

Rob Rodriguez, Senior Vice President of Operations, recently said, “”Today, we’re a little bigger and we offer a few more menu items, but all of us remain committed to taking care of the values Mr. Dobson, his wife Grace, their children and all our more than 34,000 family members have held so dear for 65 years and counting: serve the highest quality products, treat others with respect and invest in the community,” according to the Express-News.

And to think that the recently rated best burger chain started out as a small stand selling burgers for 35 cents.  The Express-News put together a photo gallery chronicling Whataburger’s growth through the years, including snaps of the chain’s first stand in Corpus Christi and scans of Dobson’s journals. The full gallery can be viewed here.

Whataburger has made headlines recently for taking a stand against Texas’ new open carry law, and for making an appearance at Drake’s OVO Festival set.

To celebrate the big six-five, the chain will be offering free meal upgrades on Whatameals on Saturday, Aug. 8, from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.

FOLLOW: Live-tweeting Jon Stewart’s last The Daily Show

Hey, folks, Joe Gross here. I will be live tweeting the final episode of Jon Stewart’s 16 year run on The Daily Show TONIGHT from 10 to 11 p.m. Central.

A man and his paper take their final bows tonight
A man and his paper take their final bows tonight

Follow @austin360movies to join the conversation and look for a a roundup of the tweets here on the Buzzworthy blog.

See you at 10, folks!

Matthew McConaughey celebrates wife’s U.S. citizenship

Matthew McConaughey’s wife Camila Alves is a new U.S. citizen.

Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey at the Texas Film Hall of Fame Awards at ACL Live on March 8, 2012.  Photo by Michael Barnes
Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey at the Texas Film Hall of Fame Awards at ACL Live on March 8, 2012. Photo by Michael Barnes

A Tuesday tweet picturing McConaughey and Alves with their three children in a courtroom announced the news.

The Tweet was met with hundreds of retweets, thousands of favorites and countless congratulations.

Alves, who is originally from Brazil, also posted a photo along with the words:

“It is with great pride and honor that I am happy to say I now hold an American passport!”

McConaughey, Alves and their three children live in Austin.

More McConaughey headlines: 

• Watch: Matthew McConaughey ‘reacts’ to new ‘Star Wars’ trailer

• McConaughey celebrates the right to boo and ‘ovate’

• Photos: Matthew McConaughey through the years